Have you ever had a relationship filled with chemistry and passion, but the relationship was short-lived? If so, you know how disappointing it can be. Chemistry can blind you from seeing your partner clearly. By focusing on chemistry, you’re drawn to the feeling that chemistry creates, and you may minimize what’s really needed for an enduring relationship. Although chemistry is important in a relationship, it creates a superficial bond between you and your mate unless you take the time to see if your partner is a good match for you outside the bedroom.

Chemistry is Easy

Chemistry is easy because it’s immediate and visceral. You don’t have to think about it; it just is. It creates physical intimacy but falls short of building emotional intimacy. The elements of healthy relationships are love, trust, mutual respect, and commitment. These grow stronger over time. You have to see your partner’s actions in a variety of situations so that you can feel sure that your partner is trustworthy, committed and treats you with respect. For example, your partner may assure you that they are trustworthy, but it takes time to see if this is true.

Your “Type”

It’s common to have chemistry with people who aren’t right for you. When dating, many people are attracted to a particular “type” of person. An example is the stereotypical “bad boy,” who makes your heart race and knees weak. Even if you feel great chemistry with him, this type of man isn’t known for his emotional availability or stability. In other words, your chances of being dumped by him are high, and you’ll be right back where you started – wishing you could have a relationship that lasts. Typically, when you are open to dating a different type of person, you’ll be able to change your relationship outcomes. Moreover, when you’re aware that “your type”  doesn’t equate to long-term happiness, you’ll understand that what is familiar is not necessarily good.

Being Friends First

Even when you’re undeniably attracted to someone, if you get to know each other as friends first, you’ll be able to develop love and trust without sex being a focal point. Think about building a new home; if the foundation is stable and strong, the rest of the house will be, too. If the foundation is constructed hastily and with poor materials, it may not hold the weight of the house for long. The same is true for a relationship built with chemistry only – it is risky.

In Conclusion

You can find love and have a happy relationship by understanding the elements of healthy relationships beyond chemistry.

Next Steps

I am helping singles change the type of partner they attract so they can create long-term, loving relationships. I offer safe and confidential coaching sessions designed to bring love and happiness into your life. I work with singles, couples, and families. You can contact me at (512) 922-4822 or buildlovingrelationships.com or email me at truelovecoach@gmail.com.